Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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