It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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