Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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