Don't you send me to vm
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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