Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
