break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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