i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
