SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
