you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
