Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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