so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
not ubering you a puppy
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
