i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
