Nicole vs. Life
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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