i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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