hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Randomize
