It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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