you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
