Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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