and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wear drunk well.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
