Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize