At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
