Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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