SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
