What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
