Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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