imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
