All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
