and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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