I'm so fucking centered right now
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
