help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
