best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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