Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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