need another drink. this is the easiest way
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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