i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
