There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
