Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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