I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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