I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
