party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
