Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
