How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
