Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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