I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
