you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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