Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
