How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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