Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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