Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
