Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
