she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This house was built for laser tag.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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