you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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