youre lurking in front of me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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