I wanna bring you to show and tell
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Nicole vs. Life
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
