She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
